Blog
Check out Dr. Snyder’s blog below for useful tips and practical insights. For further reading on a wide range of current topics, see his blog page on PsychologyToday.
NYC Women's Top 10 Sex Therapy Concerns
May 7, 2024
As a sex and relationship therapist in Manhattan, almost every working day for the last three decades, I’ve done something few men ever get to do: I’ve listened to women tell me about their lives. We men don’t usually cross gender lines in private conversation. But I highly recommend it. As I’ve written elsewhere, Freud’s […]
10 Biggest Male Sex Problems NYC Sex Therapist Sees in Manhattan
April 22, 2024
Doing sex therapy in NYC, you learn a lot about the sexual challenges men face. For 30+ years now as a Manhattan sex therapist, I’ve had a daily real-world education in what troubles NYC men in bed – and what to do about it. Here’s my short list of the Top 10 Male Sex Problems […]
My Interview On "Rough Sex" for Cosmopolitan Magazine
October 24, 2023
Cosmopolitan Magazine re: “Why Wanting Rough Sex is More Common Than You Think”In the run-up to the opening of Fifty Shades of Grey at movie theaters Valentine’s Day 2015, I was interviewed for Cosmopolitan on the subject of “rough sex.” Here are my answers to some of the questions I was asked: 1. Why does rough […]
Late-in-Life Virginity — The Atlantic
October 24, 2023
Late-in-Life Virginity — Its Causes and ConsequencesLate-in-life virginity — people who remain virgins until well into their 20’s, 30’s, or beyond, is a subject that as a sex therapist I’ve been interested in for a long time. So I was pleased to be interviewed by writer John Fortenbury for his article, “On Late-in-Life Virginity Loss,” in The […]
What’s for dessert? Orgasms and sex therapy.
October 24, 2023
An open secret about good sex therapy We sex therapists aren’t so interested in orgasms. We’re among the few humans on the planet who aren’t. Why not? Because great orgasms don’t make for great lovemaking. It’s great lovemaking that leads to great orgasms. Whether an orgasm happens — and whether it turns out to have […]
Eros, Spirituality, and Crying During Sex
October 24, 2023
My fellow sex journalist Tracy Clark-Flory was a guest at one of Nicole Daedone’s weekend retreats for women at Le Meridien in San Francisco last year. One of the events was a live demonstration of Daedone’s technique of what she calls Orgasmic Meditation (OM) with a female volunteer. (See references 1-3 below)During this public OM session, the […]
Penile Dysmorphic Disorder | When Size Obsession Gets Out of Hand
October 24, 2023
“Penile Dysmorphic Disorder” and Obsessions with Penis Size Tori Rodriguez, a writer for MensHealth.com, recently interviewed me for a piece prompted by a recent article in the British Journal of Urology reporting that most men electing penis enlargement surgery are in fact normally endowed. Thanks to Ms Rodriguez and to the editors of MensHealth.com for […]
Contemporary Sexuality and the Brazilian Wax
October 24, 2023
Does She, or Doesn’t She? “When I was teaching the class of fifteen-year-olds and it was time for the girls to ask their questions of boys, they wanted to know this: ‘Do you prefer girls who have a little hair or a lot of hair?’ I thought they meant hairstyles, as in long hair versus […]
NYC Sex Therapist Diary: Dining and Differentiation
October 24, 2023
What’s the secret to keeping love and sex alive? There’s no one best answer, and every couple is different. But many sex therapists, myself included, talk about something called “differentiation” as a key factor. Differentation means being able to take care of yourself, as a separate person, while you’re in intimate dialog with your mate. A […]
Sex Tips for Married Lovers
October 24, 2023
Why Most Sex Tips Don’t Work Sex tips these days tend to be long on technique — but short on feelings. Maybe that explains why so few couples in my sex therapy practice seem to come in with any idea what good sex is supposed to be all about. We’re the most sexually over-exposed society in […]
Sexual Desire: Why It Goes Missing, and How to Get it Back
October 24, 2023
Why It’s Normal to Lose Sexual Desire Sexual desire, and how to keep it going in a relationship, can be a bit of a mystery. But don’t feel bad. It’s a mystery to most sex experts as well. In this article, I’ll show you how sexual desire really works, and why it doesn’t always behave the […]
Toward a Better Definition of Premature Ejaculation
October 24, 2023
Part 1 of a new three-part series for men with premature ejaculation and their partners, on contemporary issues in the understanding and treatment of PE. See also: What Causes Premature Ejaculation? Eight Ways Men with Premature Ejaculation Can Last Longer in Bed How fast is too fast? The answer’s always been a bit foggy. Over […]
Eight Ways for Men with Premature Ejaculation to Last Longer in Bed
October 24, 2023
Part 3 of a new three-part series, for men with premature ejaculation and their partners, on contemporary issues in the understanding and treatment of PE. See also: Toward a New Definition of Premature Ejaculation What Causes Premature Ejaculation? How can men with PE learn to last longer in bed? As we discussed in Part Two […]
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
October 24, 2023
Part 2 of a new three-part series for men with premature ejaculation and their partners, on contemporary issues in the understanding and treatment of PE. See also: Toward a New Definition of Premature Ejaculation Eight Ways for Men with Premature Ejaculation to Last Longer in Bed As a sex therapist, the first thing you notice […]
Addyi (Flibanserin): 25 Things You Need to Know
October 24, 2023
Getting the Facts Right About Addyi Flibanserin (marketed as Addyi by Sprout Pharmaceuticals)—often referred to as the long-awaited “pink pill” for women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)—was approved by the FDA in August 2015 after years of debate. There’s a lot of misleading information out there, so it’s best to consult your doctor to […]
9 Sex Questions from Cosmopolitan
October 24, 2023
9 Sex Questions from Cosmo As a sex therapist, someone who answers sex questions for a living, it’s always a pleasure to get asked questions by Cosmo. Here are some recent ones, along with the answers: 1: What is “coital alignment technique”? A: Coital alignment” is a set of techniques designed to make intercourse more […]
Why Some Men Have Trouble Ejaculating During Intercourse
October 24, 2023
Trouble Ejaculating and The Orgasmic Double Standard Men who have trouble ejaculating are a misunderstood bunch. Women’s and men’s orgasm difficulties are really very similar. As I explained in my article, "Advice for Men Who Have Difficulty Ejaculating," an orgasm is really just a reflex. Male or female, people differ in what’s called their "orgasm […]
Advice for Men Who Have Difficulty Ejaculating (and for their partners)
October 24, 2023
Difficulty Ejaculating: Myths vs Reality When I first started out as a sex therapist thirty years ago, I was taught that difficulty ejaculating was rare, that it was very hard to treat, and that it usually suggested deep-rooted psychological problems. We now know these are all total myths. The reality is that difficulty ejaculating is […]
Sexless Marriage: What To Do If It Happens to You
October 24, 2023
Sexless Marriage . . .and “Nearly-Sexless” Marriage There’s sexless marriage. And then there’s “nearly sexless marriage” — where a couple might only have sex a few times a year. Or as one patient of mine, an insurance executive, described it — “on a quarterly basis.” If sex on a quarterly basis feels like enough for you, […]
How Do I Find A Sex Therapist?
October 24, 2023
What Makes A Sex Therapist Different? Finding a good sex therapist isn’t easy. If you’re suffering from a sexual problem, it’s crucially important that you see someone who understands the difference between a sex therapist and a “regular therapist.” Often a “regular therapist” will advertise themselves as a sex therapist, when they’re really not — which […]
Women’s Sexual Desire, and Why Men Often Don’t Recognize It
October 24, 2023
Women’s Sexual Desire Is Different We’ve learned a lot about women’s sexual desire in the last few decades. Back when sexologists were mostly male, sexual desire—or “libido” —used to be thought of as like some kind of hydraulic pressure in the body. Like the pressure most young men feel when they need to ejaculate. But […]
Interviewing Sex Surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene
October 24, 2023
What is a sex surrogate? And how is a sex surrogate different from a sex therapist? These questions go all the way back to the origin of both professions in the 1960’s. The simple answer is that sex surrogates get naked with their clients, and sex therapists don’t. (One might say sex therapy […]
What Turns Men On, Really?
October 24, 2023
As Simple As It Gets “Wolfgang likes to look at images of female derrieres. He prefers certain poses: bent over, legs splayed, leaning on her knuckles. He like these images so much that he is willing to pay for the privilege of looking at them. Sometimes he pays several times a day. This might seem […]
Why Men Can’t Ejaculate During Sex – Cosmo May 2015
October 24, 2023
For her May 2, 2015 Cosmo article, “8 Myths About Men You Need to Stop Believing,” writer Chiara Atik interviewed me about Delayed Ejaculation (DE), a male sexual dysfunction that’s flown under the radar screen forever.DE has long been rumored to be uncommon. But in my sex therapy practice I frequently see men with this condition. For […]